My sister brought home another scruff today.
One quick sniff and we hadda say,
"He ain’t much for suds but seems to love picking his nose.
See if you can get him in squirting distance of a hose."
'Cos he's certainly in need of a bath,
Most certainly in need of a bath.
He scratched himself and spoke like a trust fund rube.
Deodorant and mouthwash,
Like shampoo, were taboo.
An arrogant ponce,
Itchy manbun liced with grit,
Spends his shower hour misinterpreting politics.
Yeah, he's certainly in need of a bath,
Most certainly in need of a bath.
Get into the tub, boy,
Meet stout Mr. Bubble!
Such liberal based hygiene smells olfactoristic trouble.
Certainly in need of a bath,
Please toss that ragamuffin into the bath.
Spare us the misery of mephiticity.
Pustulate yon hemmy,
Femmy worm.
Don't be a dope, wimp.
Just sit on the soap, simp.
Your clothes should be bleach rinsed then washed before they are burned.
He thinks dandruff and cavities equal artistic.
Sissy pie's enthralled but she's often quite autistic.
Certainly in need of a bath,
Most certainly in need of a bath.
C & P Copyright Chris Giunta 2025