Park Avenue for The Wallys, quite posh!  Quite posh indeed! 
        Not quite.  We're at DESMOND'S TAVERN this FRIDAY at 10:00 for a 45 minnit 
          set.  DESMOND'S is one of Manhattan's oldest Irish bars.  Altho we've never 
          disgraced the stage, tis within The Custard Clan's 6 degrees of penetration. 
        Chris occasionally irritated the patrons in the mid-80's when he dwelled 
          thereabouts years afore our beloved engineer Richie narrowly avoided a 
          swinging shellelagh and Gaylick thumping when his band strummed in yon very 
          inne!  Fiery Bushmill spirits prompted his inner minstrel to crack wise 
          onstage regarding the penurious Sons of Eire's renowned proclivity for 
          strong drink.  Luckily for him he's blind, and thus was spared a proper 
          Dublin pubstomp from the thundering brogans of Killarneybragh. 
        FRIDAY......NOVEMBER 6......10:00 PM 
        TOILET REPORT:  After perusing many online reviews, it's apparently quite 
          filthy and has yet to be cleaned.  Legend has it that Sir Paul "Give Ireland 
          Back to The Irish" McCartney hisself ran in to make a quick deposit after 
          munching some bad Chinese food a few decades ago.  Apparently (online 
          sources swear this is true) the proud staff fished his spontaneous 
          composition outta the toilet, bronzed the ballad, and now display it 
      proudly.  Whoa......  |